How to make it through tough times

Life is good and then you get thrown a curveball.
When you’re pursuing your dream and navigating life, at some point you’ll experience a tough time and get thrown a curveball. Tough times come to everyone. Jesus said ‘in this world you will have trouble’. I’ve had a few tough ‘trouble’ seasons in my life. I can look back and reflect on what has got me through and what has helped. This post explores 16 practical things you can do when you are going through a tough time. It includes what has helped me through these seasons and I hope they help you in some way. Of course every ‘curve ball’ is different, losing a job, a season of financial hardship, illness, the list goes on. How we navigate ourselves through these seasons will be different for all of us.

1. Write about it

Writing out your thoughts and feelings is a great way to flush out negativity, reduce stress and tension and also helps you to regulate your emotions. Try writing out your thoughts as they come to you. You don’t need to show your thoughts to anyone, they are just for you. Do this as a one off exercise or you can also do this as part of a journalling habit. There are lots of journals available to buy online which can help you with this. Or buy a simple note book to put down your thoughts and feelings. You’ll also find that by writing out your thoughts you’re able to problem solve and see the situation from a different perspective.

2. Focus on your spiritual life

Spending more time with God always helps me. Whether that’s listening to songs, praying as I fall asleep, praying as I brush my teeth. Reminding Jesus ‘I’m here, I’m listening and my situation is still here’. Sometimes it can feel like God can’t hear your prayers. If you feel like God isn’t answering your prayers read;

I have also found that fasting helps too. It helps and reminds me to put the focus back on to God.

The tougher things get, the closer I want to be to God and the tighter I am holding on.

In my seasons of challenge I have a picture of myself holding on to a thread. In the picture the thread goes all the way up through the sky, up through the clouds and up to God. God is holding on to the thread and I know he won’t let it go. I’m back down here on earth holding tightly. I always picture
thread because that’s how vulnerable I feel going through a tough season. Thread because thread could break or snap at any point. Yet despite the challenge or the season God never let’s go and it
doesn’t break or snap.
The benefit of going through the tough times is that you get to see first hand how God repairs, heals, forgives and brings you through. He works for you not against you. You can see this play out in so many of the people in the bible. You can’t see this in the same way when things are going well. The tougher things get the closer I want to be to God and the tighter I am holding on. God is my refuge and strength (Psalm 46 verse 1). Hold on to God when the tough times come. He is the thread.

Hold on and lean into God

Hold on to God when the tough times come. He is the thread

3. Small acts of kindness (to yourself)

Scented candles, flowers, Cadbury’s whole nut chocolate, nice coffee, long showers. My top list of go to small acts of kindness to myself when the going gets tough. It doesn’t change the situation but it changes the moment, and for a little while I have a distraction. It’s so important to be kind to yourself. What would make your list?

4. Go for a walk

Go for a walk, science tells us that walking is good for you but I don’t need science to prove this. All exercise is good but there is something about walking for me that frees the mind. Maybe it’s the rhythm of the walking but a good walk does you the world of good (as does a run if you prefer running). It has the power to take you out of your space both mentally and physically. Walking changes your environment and gets you away from everything for a while. I’ve also had lots of ideas and I’m able to problem solve when walking.

5. Remember & Reflect

I remind myself of the other tough seasons I’ve experienced in my life and how God got me through. God is so faithful. Even when we mess up he gets us through. There is something special in seeing how God works through our situation. That’s if we give him the space. Eventually, after lots of wrestling, I come to the end of myself. When I can’t do anymore, and I finally allow God in, God takes control. I wish I could say that
I allow him to take control at the start of a tough season but I struggle with this. As I start to let go and give him the control I remind myself of all the situations that God has witnessed in my life and all the
situations he has brought me through. He remembers. He is in control. He already knows the outcome and there is a comfort in this. He is there if we allow our eyes and ears to hear and see him.

6. Embrace Gratitude

Think about all the things that you are grateful for and have in your life. Remind yourself of a specific happy moment or memory that you are grateful for. Put the focus back on the positive. If you can it’s great to
do this first thing in the morning before you start the day. Focus on a positive and happy memory and re-live it in your mind before the day begins and life takes over.

7. Make your bed

Make your bed- no I’m not joking. Years before Jordan Peterson made ‘make your bed’ famous, my mum was telling me to do this. Whenever I was upset or feeling down she would say ‘go and make your bed ’.

Controlling the small stuff matters
When you’re going through a tough time and the problem seems unsolvable the little act of making your bed can somehow make life a little better. Why? Because controlling the small stuff matters.
Tough times normally involve a lack of control in our lives. During the tough time there will be a situation we’re not able to control or fix ourselves. Finding the things we can control (like making a
bed or tidying a room) can give a sense of calm, order and routine in a time of uncertainty or challenge.

8. Don’t neglect your sleep

Science proves that a consistent lack of sleep contributes to higher levels of anxiety, a change in mood and behaviour, and an increase risk of symptoms of depression. Sleep matters. I live with a husband who suffers from insomnia so I know if you suffer from insomnia you may be thinking ‘easier said than done’. Being aware of when you are sleep deprived and when you are tired really helps. At some point if you are sleep deprived your body will crash and you will need to sleep. Try to notice when you are tired and when you have energy and adjust your habits around this. Just becoming aware of your energy levels will help. Are you better in the mornings or the afternoons? Can you take some things off your timetable to help with your energy levels during the day.

9. Seek Solitude

It’s good to be around people but it’s also good to have personal space alone. You might be someone who loves to be around company but it’s also good to have time in your own space with God. Time to pray, time to read the bible, time to write, time to remove yourself from the ongoing hustle of life. Jesus often took himself off to be alone to pray. He did this regularly and in some of the most important moments in his ministry. What can we learn from this? It shows that God wants to spend time with us on a 1:1 basis. He wants to communicate with us, he loves us. It’s also good for us to be intentional about our time with God as Jesus was. Think about how you can incorporate this into your life and schedule.

10. Seek Community

Seek community. Spending time with the right people builds you up and reminds you that you are part of a larger community. Whether that’s meeting a friend for coffee or a walk, or being part of a community in your local church. Having regular touch points with other people reminds you that you are not alone and helps to build up your faith.

11. Talk to someone you trust

Talking with someone that you trust helps to reduce your anxiety and pressure. You might not have an immediate answer to your problem but talking about it can help you feel less isolated.

12. Get Practical

Get practical-Think about some of the practical solutions to your problem. Think about some of the practical things you can do to help you get through your tough season. Write them out and if neccessary, seek further advice or help from other organisations or specialist groups.

13. Look at the opportunity to grow

Look at the opportunity to grow as a person.
I don’t grow in the good times. God grows my character in the tough seasons. Whenever my kids are going through a tough season or a problem I regularly ask them these questions;

• What can you learn from this?

• What would you do differently next time?

• How does that make you feel?

I ask myself these questions too. Ultimately, I like to reflect but it also helps to think actively when you are going through the situation, not just afterwards.

14. Help and serve other people

It feels like you should retreat from the world and hide under the covers of your bed. By serving and helping others it takes you out of yourself and stops you from over focusing on your own issue. It reminds you that there are other people that need help.

15. Practice random acts of kindness for other people

Do something nice for someone else. Buy someone a coffee, give someone a lift. Let someone out in the traffic. It’s another way of not focusing on your situation but on other people.

16. Let your emotions out

When you are going through a tough situation it’s natural to feel a range of emotions. It’s ok to let your emotions out. It’s ok to cry, or to feel angry. You just don’t want to hold on to those emotions for too long. The Bible says;

‘Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning’.

Psalm 30 verse 5

I’ve let those tears out on to my pillow at night and that ‘s ok. In the morning I’ll feel better for it. The morning brings a new day, new possibilities, and new hope.

The tough times will come- God wants us to respond in a way which shows our faith in him- in return he promises that he will never leave, fail or give up on us (Hebrews 13 verse 5).

Which one of these points have helped you in your tough season? Are there any other practical things that have helped you through a tough time?