Be Careful who you share your dream with
So, you have a dream, great!
You know exactly what you want to do. You have a vision, a seed of an idea. Perhaps you’ve already started the process of moving it from a dream to something that’s real.
You’re rightly excited and now you want to share your dream with the world, BUT HOLD ON, not so fast! Before you tell the world read on. There are a few things to be aware of, a few things to watch out for and a few things to consider before you share your dream with the world.
Realise that timing is everything
Picture the scene. Martin Luther King is giving his speech at the end of a long hot afternoon after the march on Washington in 1963.
Mahalia Jackson the Queen of gospel is looking on having already sung to the crowds. As he comes to a pause, she shouts out to him to ‘Tell them about the dream Martin’. In that moment he pauses before he decides to go off script and begins speaking the words of the ‘I have a dream’ speech that would become the iconic speech we know today.
Did he plan this moment? No, not at all, and it wasn’t scripted. He was led by the spirit and recognised that this was the moment to tell the world about ‘the dream’.
Timing is everything
What’s interesting about this moment is that he had already used very small parts of the ‘I have a dream’ language in a few previous speeches he had given, but it was at this very moment that he was able to give full voice to his vision. A moment that the world would remember. The timing was perfect.
Declaring your dream
For most of us when we give voice to our own dream, it won’t be to a huge a crowd. It will most likely be to a friend, maybe someone in our family. Make no mistake. Once we give voice to our dream, and declare it, it’s out there, no going back. We’re committed.
When you share it, and who you share it with matters.
That’s why at some point you need to declare it.
By declaring it to another person, the dream becomes real (well almost). It certainly moves it from being a thought in your head to a spoken vision for yourself- declared. Now it’s out there.
I’ve had a few dreams that I’ve declared. Not the type you have in your sleep kind, but the one’s that I realised if I followed through, they could change the direction of what I did with my life. Based on my own experience of dream sharing heres a few lessons I’ve learnt along the way.
Lessons In Sharing Your Dream
Your dream may make sense to you, but it might not make sense to other people.
There is something about sharing your dream for the first time which can make it a very vulnerable moment. Especially if you have been nurturing it for a long time. It might make sense to you but not other people. If they don’t catch your passion or vision don’t panic. It is what it is. Don’t let a luke warm reaction dampen your own fire. Sometimes like a seed it needs time to grow for other people to get on board or understand what you’re doing. Give other people time and space.
Don’t share too early
If you share your dream too early you run the risk of looking like someone who can’t follow through.
Sometimes it can take years. From an idea, to getting to the point where it’s something you are doing, it’s all a process. You can put the foundations in and set things up without telling anyone if necessary.
My first business with my husband was exactly like this. By the time we told extended family, we were already up and running. Initially from our bedroom, we then moved ‘the office’ into the living room. Any negativity was lessened by the fact that we were actually trading as a business by the time we told everyone. It didn’t stop all the negativity but it helped massively.
My First Dream declared
Before this though, my first dream was declared at the age of 16 to my dad in an unplanned outburst. My school had sent out letters offering apprenticeships at Land Rover. He was talking to me about how I should go for it and how exciting it would be.
I was horrified. I remember I blurted out ‘that’s not happening dad because I’m going to be an actress’- much to my dad’s disappointment. I’d already decided at age 11 that this was what I was going to do, the outburst was the first time I had declared it. It felt good. It was out. No going back now.
My mum always completely supported my journey, my dad eventually got on board. Quietly I think he would have preferred it if I’d taken up the apprenticeship-more secure and it would have been a ’proper’ job.
Think about who you share your dream with first
Share it with someone you trust, someone you feel will understand and be excited for you. Think about who you’re going to share it with first and try not to do it flippantly. Your dream is too important.
State little and overachieve
After you have declared your dream for some reason some people will want to try and define you and put you in a metaphorical box.
They will try to assume they know the boundaries of your gifts and talents. They don’t.
Do everything to run away from that box as soon as you see it coming.
Only God knows the limits of your gifts and abilities.
When I worked in the corporate world I remember feeling this distinctly and regularly. Every time I realised it was happening to me I moved on.
The same thing with friends, and the same with family. I remember telling one friend when I had passed my driving test years ago. “I’ve passed’ I said. ‘Really?’ they said, shocked. ‘Yes’ I said. ‘Really?’ they said. ‘Yes’, I said. ‘Really?’ they said.
The conversation carried on in this circle until I had said ‘yes’ at least six times. Clearly, they didn’t think I could pass a driving test. I clocked the response and the box they were trying to label me with.
State little and over achieve
Take action. Do the work required. Do the research. Do the learning, do the hard work. Turn it slowly from a dream into a reality. It’s not going to happen without lots of hard work and action. State little and over achieve.
Not everything needs to be public
In a world where your lunchtime sandwich on social media makes news and likes, this point might be controversial. Not everything needs to be public. It’s ok to nurture and progress your dream without telling everyone. In reality not everyone cares. People are too busy getting on with their own lives and struggles. Your dream might be the centre of your world but for others it isn’t, and that’s fine.
Don’t let other people try to define you
Progress is essential to happiness. If someone tries to tell you that you have reached the limits of your capabilities, it’s time to move on. What do I mean by move on? It might mean, moving jobs, it might mean not telling that particular person anything of importance about your life or dream again.
Don’t always expect family and friends to support you
I know you would like to think that everyone will be as positive as you about your vision or dream but unfortunately human nature is not built that way.
When you declare your dream you may get a negative reaction. Shock, disbelief even.
Who are you to do that? Is that sensible? What do you know about that? Is that realistic? How is that going to work then? Will that even make enough money? Do you really want to do that at your age? Isn’t that a bit risky? And the list goes on.
As the saying goes keep calm and carry on.
Many of these reactions are because of these four reasons;
- You’re stepping out of your box, or the definition they have of you- and they don’t like it
- You moving on means they feel they aren’t moving on – essentially you are holding up a mirror to their own lives and what they see reflected back can be frustrating for them.
- Beware of the green-eyed monster- Jealousy. Jealousy is such an immature and wasted emotion but it exists. Ask yourself whether their lack of support is because of this emotion.
- They apply their beliefs on to you. They wouldn’t take the risk. So you shouldn’t. They wouldn’t do it, so you shouldn’t.
The good news! Good people exist too
Look for the good people.
For every green eyed monster there will be those that will be inspired by you. They will encourage, be positive and when the road gets rocky they’ll offer support and encouragement.
Some, seeing your own courage to follow your dream, will be inspired to step out and start to follow their own.
Value yourself and your dream
Value yourself and your dream. You can’t always expect validation from other people. It’s not their job. It’s your job to believe in and value yourself and to stay true to what you know you want to do and what your values are. If it was up to other people many successful people we know today, would have accepted rejection and given up at the first hurdle.
For every success there are always the stories of failure, challenge, hurdles and rejection. That is the pattern before success.
Remember it’s your dream
Dreams start as ideas in the mind but your dream is unique because of you. Your unique DNA, your unique gifts and qualities are what makes it your dream and journey. No-one else anywhere in the world can be you. If you don’t pursue your dream no one else can. Why?
Because no-one else is you.
You matter. Your journey matters. Your dream matters.
So be steadfast in your pursuit, and remember it’s your dream.
What’s your experience of sharing your dream? What was the reaction? Have you shared your dream yet? If not why not?
Struggling to know what your dream is? Read this;
